We’re going to again turn to the “American Idol” website, and let the hard-core Idol devotees (and opinionated haters) give their impressions of last night’s episode. As usual, please be sure to fill us in on anything we missed, and look forward to our continued reliance on this feature, as we present you with forthcoming editions of “Last Night On American Idol.”

Synopsis:
The judges head to Sweet Home Alabama (haha, that’s even funnier the hundredth time!) to see whether there’s any talent over in the Deep South. [Spoiler: There’s not]. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop the judges from green-lighting the overwhelming majority of the contestants, and sparing us from the nails-screeching-on-a-blackboard types we’ve grown rather accustomed to. Thankfully, Paula helped quell rumors that she’s being replaced by the much-nuttier Courtney Love by proving that she herself is still fully deserving of the “Crazy Judge” distinction.

Simon’s Quote of the Night:
“Don’t stand on the non-singing floor!”

Highlights:
• “Paula says that Katie should enjoy married life a while, and Paula should know, what with all the times she’s been divorced.”

• “Margaret Fowler, age 50. Wow. Unbelievable. The look on Simon’s face was priceless!”

• “You have got to give it up for the warmth, politeness (for the most part), and hospitality. Even Simon Cowell was impressed - ‘No one has ever welcomed us before.’”

• “Simon has never heard that song sung that way before and Randy, when she says she normally gets standing ovations, asks “is it because they are leaving very quickly?”

• “Lakia Hill, who declares “I have the total package: voice and looks”, turns out to have an awful voice. “What the hell was that?” asks Simon. “That was a complete and utter mess.”

More American Idol madness after the jump.

Amusing Observations:
• “Sheesh, Paula, did someone take a crap in your Midol bottle today?”

• “Frightening crop of prospects we have this year - why do I have this feeling I’ll be cheering on the Jack Osbourne look-alike?”

• “Jamie Lee Ward is the second most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen…Her accent is so Southern that banjos just randomly start playing behind her.”

• “Victoria Watson has a ton of hair. It’s actually rather pretty, if not cumbersome.”

• “Ryan looks like he has been held against the ropes and beaten. I would like to see more of him interacting with the contestants. His gentleness with them really shows up their craziness.”

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