Britney Spears is a Slip

Category Magazine, Celeb | Permalink | 13. February 2007

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In an exclusive interview with Britain’s News of the World, Britney’s ex-boyfriend, Isaac “Eyezik” Cohen has revealed that Britney Spears’ life “is in tatters” and that she’s dangerously close to her breaking point. Eyezik claims the only way that Britney can cope is by having sex.

He says:

She loves sex and is incredibly adventurous…Britney is not shy about her body so she slowly stripped off her clothes and beckoned me to join her under the stars in the pool…It was an amazing view over the Las Vegas strip. But we didn’t stay long as we wanted to try out the bed. So we clambered on and I grabbed the remote and started it turning round and round. All the time as we made love we watched ourselves in the mirrored ceiling. It was amazing but we did it so many times it made us start to feel sick. We had to turn it off.Based on the millions of pictures of Britney Spears that we’ve seen in the past six months, I don’t know what level of self esteem it would take to admit having sex with this haggard beast. It must be off the charts. In either direction. Doctors and scientists from around the world would have to hold a summit to figure it out. While Isaac is hooked up to special self esteem computers, Canada would remain neutral, Brazil would say “-1,645″ and America would say