Paris Hilton has left Australia! As you can see, the sultan of skank was spotted at the Sydney Airport earlier today, getting ready to board a plane that will hopefully head straight for [–insert your choice of country here - as long as it’s not the USA or the two countries that border it, France & Spain–] or maybe, if we’re all lucky, the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Yeah, I know. That crack about her crashing into the Pacific was pretty mean-spirited, especially since she wouldn’t be the only one on the plane and would’ve have probably chosen the most crowded one considering she’s the world’s most shameless attention whore and everything.

Although I guess you could argue that if you walked onto a plane and saw Paris Hilton snorting whatever she snorts in first class and then didn’t turn back for the door yelling, “Feet don’t fail me now!”, you’re basically getting what you deserve for thinking that God loves you a lot more than he hates her. And, as anyone with a bible can tell you [i.e. not me], succumbing to delusional pride is an even worse sin than sporting a painful erection in church or voting for a Democrat.

Editor’s Note: See that guy in the blue shirt in the upper right hand corner? I’m betting he was sent to assassinate Paris Hilton, but confused his cell phone with his gun again. Man, he’s really squeezing that sucker. Here’s hoping he didn’t leave to go answer his gun afterwards.

Wow, did I really just write “here’s hoping he didn’t”? Man, I must be slipping. Or still reeling from the after-effects of all that god damn holiday spirit. Fucking holiday spirit, I’ll get you for this one day, you cocksucker.

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