American Idol finalist Sanjaya Malakar may not have the best voice, or be the best looking, or even remotely talented, but dear sweet God how we do love him. That hair, those moves, the Groucho brows — this eunuch’s got it all! And he’s creating a devoted fan base simply by way of his haircut alone (seriously, if the AI thing doesn’t work out, stay tuned for Sanjaya to play Rachel Green on India’s Friends)

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His lady-haired impact on the country has even inspired a website of SanjayaFans.org, which answers those burning questions such as: Q: When did you first start to sing? A: Once I stopped crying, and Q. What are your personal goals in life? A. To become witty.

In the meantime, Simon Cowell has said that if Sanjaya wins, he won’t return to the show… meaning that in less than 3 years the kid will probably win a Country Music Award. But really, if it weren’t for this kid and the delightful Melinda Doolittle, we wouldn’t give a sh*t about the top 12.

As far as what Sanjaya’s secret is? Look no further than the first minute of the following video:

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